sunday, jan. 12th - 3.04 pm
#1
listening to: heroes - david bowie
it's sunday and i can't help but wonder what it'd be like to kiss you. i've been considering cutting my hair short again. i've been listening to a lot of david bowie but i can't help but feel as if i'm betraying my other favorite artists. i remember you passing me the bottle of wine. our fingers didn't touch, but i wish they had.
on wednesday we stayed at school for a long time to talk. we were laughing and talking too loud and i said "i wonder what other people think when they see us" and you said "i don't care"
you told me you stopped smoking but you started again and i can't help but feel betrayed.
the point is, i wish you'd touch me more often and not as a joke.
i've been having lots of recurring dreams lately. i never reallize it while i'm still dreaming but a soon as i wake up i get this weird feeling as i don't really remember my dreams. i don't like it.
i want to dye my hair because i can't get my hands on anything else
i remember new year's eve and your hair being kind of frizzy,, like a halo. sophia braided your hair and asked me for a hairtie to finish it. you haven't given it back to me yet. i wonder if you know it's mine.
i remember trying not to grimace when downing the last bit of my wine (red, dry, bitter). you must've known it was my first time drinking. i hesitated when asking you for the bottle.
i've been putting milk in my coffee again. i remember, two years ago, when we weren't quite friends yet, we had a conversation about coffee. you told me you'd chug an entire thermos of the stuff while biking to school.
i always text you first, which makes me feel pretty sad. but when you respond we always have fun conversations so i don't really know how to feel. i wonder if you miss me on the weekends
you keep telling me you love me but i don't want you to say it if you don't mean it
search history:
12-01-2025: "composition notebook"
11-01-2025: "did david bowie smoke"
11-01-2025: "david bowie hairdye"
11-01-2025: "anisocoria"
10-01-2025: "le sommeil gustave courbel"
10-01-2025: "simone de beauvoir"
10-01-2025: "rome hotel"