friday, oct. 25th - 7:28 pm
L
listening to: creature - it looks sad.
two days ago, one of my friends asked to borrow a pen. i gave her one. she said thank you, and she mumbled 'i love you' when she exhaled. i nearly cried. i've never had many friends, and to have someone tell me they love me is just really strange. in a good way. it's not really like her to say stuff like that, at first i thought i'd misheard it. i dunno. thinking about it makes me feel really giddy and strange.
we haven't been friends for long, maybe since the beginning of the school year? i was always a bit intimidated by her. she's quite tall and she smokes. her best friend (one of my friends now too!!) was brutally honest and kind of scary. i was scared to speak to either of them.
anyway, in a free period i was just hanging out with some of my friends, and a mutual friend brought her to the couch we always hang out on. she was really funny. i wanted to make her laugh really bad, i don't know why. she's got a really nice laugh. loud and confident.
we kept growing closer, which was really nice. she's really fun to be around. i like scaring her by slapping my hand on her shoulder when she's sitting in front of me. she's really jumpy, it's funny.
and she's kind of got this 'cool' aura. as in, i smoke and drink and don't do my homework and i don't give a shit. so i like seeing her DO give a shit. like when she actually pays attention in class for once. or when she uses 'big' words. she's really smart. she's also really good at sports. i like watching her play sports.
i actually don't really know what the point of this story is. just wanted to 'tell' someone i guess.
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i watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind for the first time yesterday evening. with my mom actually. it was a really confusing, but a REALLY good movie. it brought me to tears like three times, which is quite a lot for me. i nearly never cry when watching movies. also kate winslet is so pretty?? the red hair looks so good on her. i wish i had more elaborate things to say about the movie, but i don't quite know how to formulate it properly. not just in english, also in general. which is what good movies should do i think.
i had school until 4.15pm today, i had a workshop for the european youth parliament (debate club). i find public speaking and crowds really scary, which is why i'm participating kinda? to get over this fear. just thinking of speeching in front of hundreds of people makes me freeze and makes me feel scared. i've got my first regional conference somewehere in december. kind of looking forward to it.
it's fall break, finally. at 4am i'll be in the car, on my way to germany. an eight hour drive. yay. super awesome. really looking forward to it. y'know what i'm also looking forward to? having to study the entire time i'm there, because people thought it was a good idea to plan an exams week IMMEDIATELY AFTER BREAK. like hmm the students will love this. let's just make them study for the entirety of the break. great.
my friends are having a halloween party rn. my dad wouldn't let me go because the day before going on vacation everything needs to be exactly the way he wants it to be. i'm pretty sad, i'd really have liked to come. my first party with a new friendgroup. dunno. i told them to send me pictures, but i don't think they will.
i'm gonna wash my face and finish packing now. i hope i'll be able to update somewhere next week again.